Making Sense of the Reasons

For many years I've been a dedicated follower of the old adage, "Everything happens for a reason". I used it to justify why things didn't work out the way I had hoped, why I met certain people at certain times in my life, and why some opportunities appeared at the wrong time (or right time). It was a calming reminder to have faith and confidence in what was going on in my life.

As I've grown older (and somewhat wiser), my understanding of this phrase has expanded. Looking back on my almost 29 years, it is evident to me that things HAVE happened for a reason, but the reasoning and timing are often much deeper than we give credit.

I was talking to a friend recently about how everything that happens to us prepares us for something in the future. Consider your relationships... What have you learned from your friends? Significant others? Family members? Colleagues? What interactions frustrated you? Excited you? Challenged you? Each relationship teaches us something about how to treat others, how to handle certain situations, or how to react in the future. The relationships that burn us teach what mistakes to avoid in the future. The relationships that prosper teach us how to grow and cultivate trust, honesty, and love.

What about your jobs, work situations, or volunteer roles? How has each one prepared you for the next? What incidences with your peers or bosses have taught you about management or supervision? Whether we switch career fields 10 times or stay in the same industry for 40 years, each position inevitably gives us something to take forward to the next. For some it's knowing how to interact more successfully in a team environment, while for others it's how not to manage a major project on a tight deadline. The good, the bad, and the ugly all give reason and education that we can and should take forward with us both in the office and at home.

Believing that "Everything happens for a reason" doesn't make us naive. It means we take on the task of examining and reflecting on those events and identifying what lessons we can learn from them. Often times we can't figure out the reason(s) until years or even decades later. Other times it takes just a simple walk or 30 minutes of journaling to come to a conclusion. The key part, though, is truly taking the time to look back on the situation and review it from a clear lens.

What have you learned from your past experiences? What makes you believe that everything happens for a reason? How do you take the time to reflect and learn? I challenge you to spend some time today reflecting back on your life and examining what you've gained from these experiences. Think about the growth you've witnessed in yourself and the way each event, person, or position has taught you something for the future. It's likely that, whether you realize it or not, each of those items has shaped you into the person you are today and given reason for why things worked out or didn't work out when we wanted them to...

Be happy for who you are. Be grateful for what you have.